Asleep in Green Country

Red Fox Grey Fox - Wait for Me, Abbey Bernstein, cover of a song originally by Small Towns Burn A Little Slower.

I don't really have much to say, nothing has really changed.

Reading Palms

Finally, I've been able to get sleep after weeks of trying and failing, trying and failing, trying and failing. I know why I can almost never sleep at night but I don't have to like it do I.

I woke up really early though, at like 3:52 A.M. if I remember correctly.

The moment I was fully awake, I slipped into some khakis, an old Anti-Flag shirt that I try not to wear but the material always smells of incense from that store that I purchased it from, and my favorite sweater that Courtney bought me a long while back, then I planted my wallet and cigarettes in my pocket and went for a long walk.

I explored many parts of town, places I had been with my friends before, places I have fond memories of. Like the church with the nice hidden hill that Robby, Jenna, and I used to sit on at night, smoking and looking down at the traffic, all the while listening to country music and talking about the future... and where I had that nub fight with Joseph and Robby in which we all got slammed into the concrete of the parking lot a little to hard.

There was also the old wall in the shopping district that we'd all sprayed our codenames on. There were also all the outlets that Robbz had placed on many of the surfaces around the town.
The road that Holly and I drove up and down till two in the morning on a day that I had to be at school early, yelling at passing people, and trying to figure out if her neighbors were going to tell her parents that they'd seen us acting like trapped animals.

Then there was probably my favorite place, the stoop in front of a small clothing store where Molly, Jared, and I used to sit at till we got tired, which usually took until about 5 in the morning. The place where we used to talk about all the things that had happened to us at school, the place where we'd tell each other wild sex stories, our hidden secrets... the things that we only tell the people closest to us.

Reliving moments of the past... Hopefully, I'll be somewhere different soon, to start this whole thing over again.

Names and Faces

It feels really weird when you know you know someone, and that you've known them forever, but besides that you can't remember who they are. You remember there name, your remember that you were connected in some way, but you don't know if you were friends or foes, if you hated them or absolutely loved them. You only know that they existed somewhere in your life and that they were there for long enough for there name to be remembered.

I've been having this happen all night, people will ask me about someone and I'll remember that I had a connection to them, but I pop up my memory file and it just says "You knew them for a couple years. You may have had 8th grade math with them." It's all very stressful.

Hmmm... Maybe I'll hunt these names down and find out exactly how I know them, and if I knew them well I'll find out if they have a husband or wife, if they have any kids, how they like there sandwiches, things that need to be known.

I don't really have a clever nonsequiter, so in other news... My little sister has a job now, I'm waiting for a call from my prospective employer which could be at anytime in the next two days, and I think I may becoming a stranger in this city. I think it might be time to actually leave, and stop just talking about it.