Passage from Time Quake by Kurt Vonnegut

At ten o'clock the old, long out-of-print science fiction writer announced it was his bedtime. There was one last thing he wanted to say to us, to his family. Like a magician seeking a volunteer from the audience, he asked someone to stand beside him and do what he said. I held up my hand. "Me, please, me," i said.

The crowd fell quiet as i took my place to his right.

"The universe has expanded so enormously," he said, "with the exception of the minor glitch it put us through, that light is no longer fast enough to make any trips worth taking in even the most unreasonable lengths of time. Once the fastest thing possible, they say, light now belongs in the graveyard of history like the Pony Express.

"I now ask this human being brave enough to stand next to me to pick two twinkling points of obsolete light in the sky above us. It doesnt matter what they are, except that they must twinkle. If they dont twinkle they are either planets or satellites. Tonight we are not interested in planets or satellites."

I picked two points of light maybe ten feet apart. One was Polaris. I have no idea what the other one was. For all i knew, it was Puke, Trout's star the size of a BB.

"Do they twinkle?" he said.
"Yes they do," i said.
"Promise?" he said.
"Cross my heart," i said.

"Excellent!" he said. "Now then: Whatever heavenly bodies those two glints represent, it is certain that the Universe has become so rarified that for light to go from one to the other would take thousand or millions of years. But i now ask you to look precisely at one, then precisely at the other."

"OK," i said. "I did it."
"It took a second, do you think?" he said.
"No more," i said.

"Even if you had taken an hour," he said, "something would have passed between where those two heavenly bodies used to be, at, conservatively speaking, a million times the speed of light."

"What was it?" i said.

"Your awareness," he said. "That is a new quality in the Universe, which exists only because there are human beings. Physicists must from now on, when pondering the secrets of the cosmos, factor in not only energy and matter and time, but something very new and beautiful, which is human awareness."

Trout paused, ensuring with the ball of his left thumb that his upper dental plate would not slip as he sad his last words to us that enchanted evening.

All was well with his teeth. This was his finale: "I have thought of a better word than awareness," he said. "Let us call it soul."

(Nothing to say really, job interview in an hour.)

By request of the old man that his body never lay out of ear shot of the town's bells.

It's been a rather exciting past two days. I've got a lot of things done, filled out some paper work. I'm waiting for a call from a prospective employer, which hopefully comes soon. Then I need to go sign some papers for this beautifully house that I found that hasn't been occupied for a very long time, I hope it's a murder house.

I watched the Fountain today, such a great movie. I like the interweaving of different philosophies and religious beliefs.

I think I might watch the Seventh Seal later.

Also, I need to get out of this house and go somewhere, spend some time with someone else, besides just Billy.

José Saramago...

At first I was really not excited about the film adaptation of Nobel Prize winning novel Blindness by José Saramago. Almost everytime a book is picked up by a movie studio it is inevitably ruined in some way, but after reading a little more about it I'm losing some of my gaurd towards it.

The first thing that made me drop some of my gaurd is the fact that the movie was directed by Fernando Meirelles, director of the amazing film adaptation of City of God by Paulo Lins and also the adaptation of John le Carré's (David John Moore Cornwell) The Constant Gardener. So that's got me letting up abit on my fear towards letting this film be directed.

Also, the film will not have the characters named, just like the book. I love that they kept that in because it forces you to actually watch the movie, and learn about each of these characters so that you can have a way to describe them. It might be hard for some people to watch, but oh well.

The producer and screenwriter also went to Saramago and spoke to him personally to get that rights to making the film and let him have his demands about what had to be in the film, which should help the movie stay faithful.

There have been some critics who don't care for the film, but most of their articles make it seem like the haven't even read the novel.

(Oh yeah, I read all the books that this author has directed film adaptations for last year in my reading for personal pleasure class... I wonder if he'll think about doing an adaptation of The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy.)

Classifieds.

I'm beginning to scare myself, not in the good ways like thoughts about maiming your enemies with a hockey stick covered in bent nails but in the awkward what-the-hell-am-I-becoming sort of way.

Firstly, I've become unnaturally obsessed with the V-neck shirts from American Apparel, which may not sound weird, but anyone who knows me knows why that's a scary thing.

Secondly, I've begun to actually be able to go to sleep normally at night, which shouldn't be a bad thing, but I actually do have literal insomnia, so it's really awkward to wake up at 8:00 in the morning like some people.

Lastly, and the major one, is that I'm beginning to develop an interest in a really good friend of mine. Until recently I've viewed this person as nothing more than a really good friend and someone who's fun to hang out with when I get the chance. But now, I've begun to notice that there is a really subtle sexiness and confidence to him that really isn't common to most people, like he's really comfortable in his own skin, it's a really attractive quality.

The bad thing is I'm don't think he's gay, even though we do flirt and play around there's never been anything sexual or romantic about it, it's just two friends teasing each other, but everyone else I talk to are pretty sure that he is a queer. I don't know what to do, I hope to be able to talk to him about it one day like I've done with other friends that I've had an attraction to.

Oh well, I'm being melodramatic.

I'm going to go buy a canteen, because I want one.

ALSO, I have to remember to tell Shawnte that she is marrying a douche bag.

What's On The Auction Block?

I can never seem to go to sleep while it's dark outside, ever, I think I'm just going to try to stay awake for the day and try to go to sleep tonight.

I've just been sitting around since Billy and my sister went to sleep at around three. I read a few pages from Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, which I'm slowly making my way through, also read the first five issues of Gilbert Hernandez's new work Speak of the Devil, it's quite good, but had a quick switch in the middle of the story that was really unexpected. I'm about to start reading some of the beginning issues of he and his brother Jaime's most famous work Love and Rockets.

When Billy wakes up we're going to watch Stranger's with Candy and look for houses on the West Side because they're fucking cheap and ghetto as hell. Hopefully we'll be able to find one that we can agree on so we can get our own place soon. I need to fill out some more job applications today as well... It's going to be a mostly work day which should keep me awake.

I think I'm going to go take a shower in a minute and maybe eat something, since I didn't eat anything yesterday on account of waking up at six at night.

Conjuring Up Concrete.

I'm finally back, after three weeks I'm back in the Ville. It's nice to be back.

A couple of things have changed since I was last here; we got a new kitten named Norma, she's tiny and a feisty bitch, got a new computer chair, wi-fi internet, a new Batman action figure from some friends of mine. Little things.

I need to get a job now. I'm going to put in applications to Sitel, Hastings, and a few other places over the next few days. I'm also talking to Billy about getting our own place, which would be awesome, so I'm going to start searching the papers after I get a job.

I also think I'm going to go to RSU for my basics next year instead of moving to a new place my first year of college.

The lost children are comrades to the little birds that have infiltrated these lands.

Yesterday was pretty good, it's been one of the first good days in a while.

It was Kirsten's birthday, she's now officially 2.1 decades old. We didn't really have much of a party, just kind of a hang out thing with friends. Gifts, little food, the like. I got her Harriet the Spy because she loves that movie. We also went and did our daily book reading at the local Hastings because we're both broke. At dinner I was told that most of the kids I spend my days with haven't seen me eat since I've been here... What the hell? I have eaten, I just have a weird thing about having people see me eat, the idea of it just weirds me out.

We also got a retarded stoner prank pulled on us tonight. Who the fuck leaves twenty pairs of sunglasses and little marshmallows on the ground outside the house and thinks that's a prank, seriously. But we got the kid who did it to clean up his own mess... so prank didn't work out as well as he'd planned.

Now I'm the only one awake, and I've been in between surfing the internet and being scared by the original Fatal Frame... just because it doesn't have the best graphics doesn't mean it's not scary as fuck... immersion!

Well, I'm done with this... I can't write anything anymore... Hopefully I'll be home soon... I hate the Comanche County Police Department.

Superflat!

Tonight I really just needed something that I could watch that would make me feel good. Something weird and fantastic, possibly even insane... and I found it in the works of Tatsuyuki Tanaka.

First, I watched this really awesome little short film collection called Digital Juice, it was really weird and hard to describe... half the time I didn't know what was going on. I give it a 7.5 out of 10 for being good but not super great or anything.

Then, I watched Eternal Family, it sounds kind of normal but read this synopsis I stole from Anime News Network and you'll see that it is not: It started as a sociological experiment. 6 different people were brainwashed to think that they were a family and then put in arbitrary situations to see how they would react. However, when a taping of the families conducts is sold in a desperate attempt to make a little capital it instantly becomes a success. Now the family is a first rated show and their every move is broadcasted around the world without them knowing it. But when a clogged toilet sets off a chain of events that ultimately frees the family from the room they are confined in the broadcasters, not willing to lose their source of income, set out to hunt down and recapture every member of the Eternal family.
Gets an 8.5 for being pretty fucking awesome.

Oh yeah, I've also started re-watching Paranoia Agent. I feel better now.

God Damn Those Drawings.

I'm haven't written anything in a while, atleast for me. But I haven't had anything I really care to tell anyone about happen in my life recently.

I really just want to go home. I think I might need to cry... It was good for two weeks but it's kind of gone down the toilet, we all have our problems and they aren't meshing as well as they usually do.

I wish the Lawton police would hurry up so I can go home.

(This is really disjointed but a lot of things are happening that I don't want to talk about.)

The Old Familiar Stain

This day is just plain annoying. There's no other way to describe it.

I'm tired of trying to mediate things that I can't really help because both of the people who need mediating have such opposing views. I'm sick of couples who are in the constant cycle of fight, love, fight, love, fight. I really just want to sleep right now.

Tomorrow will be better.

Hermann Hesse the Dog has become like my best animal friend, I need to find a way to convince the family to let me keep him in the house until I move, then I'll take him with me. He's in the backyard of the house I'm staying at for four more days, with it's broken gate, and the wind... hiding under a turned over couch because he's afraid of the inside of this house, mainly because of the cat. It's kind of a sad thing to do with the most loyal dog ever, only two days and he already follows me everywhere.

Ummm... I really don't have anything to say. I been feeling kind of sick all night... I think I need bed rest... on the couch.

Hermann Hesse the Dog

Today, we found the most beautiful little puppy I have ever seen, just adventuring around the neighborhood. We invited him over, served him some water, ham, and pet food and now he is in the back yard, being the most adorable thing I have ever seen. He appears to be a Dachshund/Beagle mix.

We're trying to find a home for him now. I can't take him because of my cats. We need a home so we don't have to take him to the pound.

He's a good dog. Well taken care of coat, good teeth, doesn't bark, loves people, everything a dog owner would want. I hope to find someone before we have to send him to the SPCA.

Oh, and his name is Hermann Hesse, hence the title.