Old Dreams

Watching the new Degrassi this morning got me to thinking, I've missed so many of my plans in life.

When I was in the beginnings of high school my best friend and I had this brilliant plan that we were going to move in together in a small apartment. Well, we did, but it wasn't exactly how I imagined it being in those days, in fact, it wasn't at all how I imagined it in those days.

In my imagination we lived in a nice, cozy, two bedroom, second floor apartment. We would eat breakfast in the morning before we both went off to our current day of classes; her music and drama, and my philosophy and art. After morning classes we'd meet up at a small cafe in the middle of downtown in what ever small city we lived in for some coffee and a bagel before heading off to the rest of our classes. Of course, after those we'd go to our little jobs, mine being in a bookstore. Then, at night, after a solid workload of classes and jobs, we'd sit down in at our living room table for homework, and talk endlessly about how our classes are going, the stress of the coming exams being mixed in with the stress of work, and other assorted details, before we went off to our rooms for sleep to start the day again.

In my head our apartment was always decorated to suit my tastes (after all it is my mind). In the living room was a nice comfortable couch and loveseat set in a nice plaid, flannel pattern (I love plaid... don't ask) with a medium sized wooden coffee table in the middle to tie the pieces together. There was a rug on the floor because we had hardwood floors so we had to protect them and there was a small cabinet upon which set a modest television.

The kitchen was filled with appliances, half we didn't know the use for, and there were a ton of coffee mugs because I love my coffee. The bedrooms were both very different yet both contained a desk on which sat our little nick-nacks, photos, and also our loptops, there were also full sized beds, dressers, a cabinet for a television to sit on, and a nightstand for our clocks so we can wake up on time.

I know this is all terrible heartwarming crap that could make you throw up, but that's always how I imagined it.

But none of that came true, in fact, I don't think any of my plans to move in with someone have ever worked out. I haven't even been able to move in with my Hindu wife.

I hope my plans do come true someday, hopefully with someone I love, and hopefully by then I have a man in my life that's not going to disappear.